Taking care of me is a totally different concept. Yup, I found myself being so confused but excited! That is exactly how week 1 in the Master Mind went. Ugh, why? My brain is thinking it is too hard and I had not even started yet. So, I was putting things off and making excuses. Darn it anyways, Mark said this was a challenge to overcome. I just didn’t think it was going to happen to me.
Overwhelmed I sure was. Which papers to print, where do I put these? Which binder did he say again? Yikes! Okay, so lets just go back and listen to the recorded version again. This time I will get it right! right? Hum! Nope, my old brain just could not grasp the new learning curve and was resisting hard.
I found one excuse after the other!
Finally, Wednesday evening is now here and I have not started . I needed to have a DMP submitted by tomorrow and I could not even think of what my Definite Major Purpose was. What I wanted to accomplish in the world is very different then your ‘why’. When people think of me, what do I want them to remember me for? What was truly going to make me happy? How do I feel about accomplishing these things? I didn’t know, never really thought about me in this way before!
Real quickly I found myself being very vulnerable, with tears in my eyes right then and there as I dove deep into those thoughts. Serving others all these years, making other people happy. I truly thought, making others happy was my purpose, my mission and my DMP. I had relied until now on acceptance and appreciation that came from others to make me happy. Wow, how did that happen?
Well after taking care of many siblings in my younger years, I must of defaulted to the role of care-taker. Taking care of the animals on the farm. I made sure friends feelings were never hurt. I always made sure that everyone got a long and mediated when needed. That was me, that was all I knew. Taking care of others, I thought was my passion, that made me happy.
I needed a plan and some action!
But I never did take care of me, and my cup was becoming empty and I believe that is why I was looking for a ways to connect to me once again. It’s is week one and a lot of the homework laying on my lap. The pile of papers forced me to re-exam my life. I needed so much time every morning, noon and night to read scroll 1, then my personal DMP. Read the master key lesson and then sit still for 15 minutes. Wow, how was I going to do all that, was my first question? But I scheduled it in and made it happen. I choose me for a change!
Action is what I needed from some of the lessons I learnt this week. I pushed aside the fear, anxiety and doubt. A new blueprint has to be gradually learned by incorporating new habits. Mark is getting me to do these small daily habits so I can influence my sub-conscience and re-create a new blueprint. I just needed to start training my brain to think of these new habits in a positive manner.
Now is the time to change it up!
Reading, ugh! Anyone that knows me, knows that books and me clash. I do not enjoy reading in any sort or manner. Training my subby to believe that I enjoy this will probably be one of the biggest hurdles for me. But, because I am determined to control my mind and master this and change things from within. I am now reading everyday, twice always! Third, or noon time is still a challenge, but I will master it because I am determined.
Slowly but surely, these small daily habits are becoming easier and easier. They are on my mind more readily, but still not second nature. In time, I am sure that is the whole point. To be a part of me, the new me! I am finding gratitude in the process of change and accepting it with love and appreciation knowing it will help me evolve into the better and best part of me! Below are the two quotes that moved me this week!
Haanel shares “The World Without is a Reflection Of The World Within”
“Within Lies the Power to Generate Courage, Hope, Enthusiasm, Confidence, Trust and Faith”
Loving this journey, Love and Joy to everyone…….till next week!!